Tuesday, February 4, 2014

My 5th Ever Blog Post

So today is Day Four of our February Blog Challenge.  Here's today's prompt:

Look at the 5th post you ever wrote on this blog.
In hindsight, what do you think about your 
frame of mind and your style of writing?

So here it is.  The 5th Post I Ever Made on My Blog

I decided to start my blog just before we left to come to Australia.  So these posts were still part of my life in Connecticut.  My frame of mind at the time was pretty chaotic.  I had been told for months that we MIGHT be going to Sydney.  Thank goodness I had an excellent employer who allowed me to continue working under all this ambiguity.

So by the time I wrote this post, we had our tickets to Sydney and everything was planned.  We were in the process of selling most of our stuff or giving it away to friends and charity.  So here's how I feel things were going...

ME - totally open to getting rid of most of our stuff due to the fact that we were going to be moving into a space that was much smaller than where we currently were.  I mean, our house was three stories.  It wasn't an overly large house, but very vertical and full of our stuff.

MR. SMITH - open to getting rid of stuff to a certain point.  I mean, the poor man sold ALL of his tools.  All of them.  None of them could be used in a country with different power points anyway.  But I know this killed him.  And even so... there were a vast number of things that he refused to part with.

So this created a lot of tension between us.

And it was definitely starting to sink in...  the reality of what we had agreed to.  This was our first home.  No one could understand why we didn't keep it and rent it out so that it would be there when (and if) we came back.  Truth is... we couldn't afford it.  And we didn't want to even think about how some other family would ruin the house.  When we bought it, it still had bare white walls.  It was a blank canvas.  We had already painted *almost* every room in the house, built a deck and installed a spiral staircase from the lower deck to the upper deck and turned the extra attic space into a HUGE walk in closet that was larger than our bedroom.  We had poured blood, sweat and tears (literally) into creating a gorgeous garden with beautiful blooms, trees and native greenery.

We had two cats (Pepper + Coco) that we had to leave behind.  Thankfully the new owner of our house agreed to adopt them.  I couldn't bear even thinking of returning them to the Humane Society and they were much too skittish and paranoid to put them through quarantine in Australia.  Not to mention that most apartments didn't allow pets anyway.

I had many friends that I had to say goodbye to.  I had lunch/dinner/coffee with Joni, Elaine, Laura, Dottie, Diane, Annie, another Elaine and many more.

Most importantly, I had to say goodbye to Kristy and her two babies.  I had spent so much time with them leading up to this point.  I cannot express how painful it was to drive away from them for what I now fear may be the last time.  Kristy was like a sister to me.  She's quite simply one of the most beautiful human beings I've ever known.  I thought no way would anything come between us.  But the distance has done it.  We've sort of lost touch and I don't fully understand why.  Maybe it's my fault.  Maybe I should try harder.  I know I should try harder.  She's not on Facebook (I know, right??) and I'm quite certain she doesn't read my blog.  I called quite often in the beginning and mostly got her voice mail.  Eventually, I suppose I just stopped.  Just thinking about this now is causing me to cry so hard that I can't see.  So I'm going to take a small break.  :)

Carrying on...

I had the best job of my life with people I truly cared for and I had to quit and leave it all behind.  I know now that I will definitely never have another job like that again, especially not in Australia.  Man, this place is BRUTAL.  I have never felt like more of a number anywhere else.

I was excited.  I was nervous.  I was sad.  I was hopeful.

So that was my frame of mind.  Now about the style of writing.  Listen, I'd be the first one to point out that I'm no literary giant.  I don't use a bunch of fancy words.  I probably use way too many periods in the form of ellipses.  I say LOL and OMG way too much.  I like making smiley faces and little hearts on Facebook.

But I like my style.  I try to keep my tone conversational.  Like you're sitting next to me and I'm telling you a story.  What I type is pretty much how I would say it to your face.  So I hope you like my style and keep coming back.

And please leave a comment if something moves you!


  1. That made me so sad about your friendship that's fallen away. Looking back, that's not something I even considered would happen, but I've had at least one that seems to have faded in much the same way. For a long time, I thought she was mad at me, but now I get nice little FB comments on occasion, that sort of thing, so it seems that we were both just busy with life and the distance made our previously close friendship just hard to maintain. I try, but it seems something's been lost. Very sad, indeed.

    1. I've moved around a bit, but never out of the states. And I knew there would be some distance issues, but I guess I thought this was one relationship that would be different and withstand the test.

  2. Life can be so darn painful. I think we've all experienced the friendship drift as expats. I know I don't speak to my close friends back home as often as I should. Life changes & you may not be in the same place that you once were but the love and bond of friendship is still remains. Maybe, give your friend another call?

    I don't know just speaking from my experience. I know even though my friendships have changed - my friends hurt & miss me too. Just because someone doesn't make the effort - doesn't mean you're forgotten. There are a million different reasons the friendship drift happens. <3

  3. Hi Yvette, I have been thinking about your post since I read it earlier this morning. I, too, have experienced the same disappointment with friends, one in particular, since moving here. I think it's inevitable. Some people just cannot handle the distance. I suspect that we will pick up our friendship again when I move back, but there's no guarantee. I will try though. I try to focus on the new friends I have made.
    I have learned that you really cannot predict who will keep up with a blog. I have been surprised by those who have not read mine, but also by those I didn't know well at all who have become regular readers and responders.
    As for your house, I understand better why it was so hard to leave it. I mourn our first house very much, even though we didn't put nearly the time that you did into yours.
    And I have driven to Bangor way too many times (but from Fredericton, New Brunswick. It's not a drive that I recommend!!)
    Best wishes with your job search ...

    1. Thanks, Christie! Hopefully the rest of my posts won't be so depressing.

  4. I like your description of your house as vertical and full of stuff. It paints a certain picture for me. I'm sorry that your relationship with your friend became unsustainable. I was really afraid of that when I came to Melbourne. I thought my friends would just forget me. Facebook is probably single-handedly responsible for saving my friendships because we're all terrible about calling each other. I miss talking to people and being involved the way I used to be, but of course, I just can't be involved that way anymore; I'm not there. It's a tough bit.

    1. It's really frustrating to me that she's not at least on Facebook. There are reasons that I won't go into here in a public forum, but still frustrating. It almost feels like I have no control. And I hate not being in control. Boy, is that revealing!! LOL

  5. Facebook really does help to link you with all of your friends back home. I am convinced it is the main reason I am able to stay in touch with my friends. That and Gchat, as everyone seems to be on when I am online early in the morning. I understand the sadness of friendships slowly growing more distant. The great thing is how they can pick right back up when you're back and visiting.

    1. Facebook has really helped in most instances. I'm really grateful for that connection.

  6. i was here two weeks and waited for my bestest friend to write back to an email i had sent out when i first got here and got no response. when i wrote her directly to find out what was up she basically pulled a Berger (Sex and the City) and broke up with me over a post it (email). It was hard. is hard. i've still never been able to write about it. i'm sorry for you losing touch with your friend.

    1. That's rough, Jen. I'm really sorry that happened. No words for that, but my heart aches.