Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Opinions are Like . . .

. . .  assholes.  Everybody's got one.

I ask for advice a lot.  I don't trust myself to make life decisions without advice from those whose opinion I care about.  I haven't always felt this way.  But lately I don't feel like I make good choices on my own.  Honestly, I'm not sure why.  Even when so-called "bad" decisions are made, nothing is all black or white.  I find that everything has shades of grey.

For instance, in hindsight, I think I made a rash decision when accepting my first job in Sydney.  It turned out to be the worst job I've ever had in my life.  However, I've made some really great friends there.  So I can't say that I completely regret that choice.  And at that time, I had no doubt about it.  I was not afraid to make a move on my own.

Fast forward two years later and I'm again searching for work.  This time I wasn't so sure of myself.  I tried to ask Mr. Smith for his opinion, but he had a lot on his mind at the time.  So I asked Bee for some advice.  Bee is good at giving advice.  She doesn't just tell you what you want to hear.  She always considers everything and articulates each point clearly.  I can't express how helpful this was to me.  And the good news is that the decision I made about my job this time around seems right on the money.

But I would never take someone's advice straight away.  Ultimately, it is my decision.

I've, on occasion, been asked for my advice.  If I think I actually have something valuable to contribute, then I'll give my opinion.  But honestly, no one should ever let someone else make life decisions for him/her.  Never give yourself that kind of "out."

It's not a good idea to let someone suggest that you should marry someone.  If you get divorced a few years later, you may want to blame that person for your mistake.  Perhaps that's an extreme example, but you catch my drift.

So that would be my advice.  Ask others for their opinions, but it's your decision.  If you are going to ask for advice, try to speak with a few different people so that you can put together a good pros/cons list to help you along.


  1. Good advice- I like thinking out loud and using friends (and the Rugby Star) as a sounding board if I have big decision to make. But you're right, ultimately it's my decision and I need to be prepared to take that responsibility on.

  2. I think the best advice-givers are the ones who just tell you what you've already said, but better than you said it, and you end up feeling bolstered making the decision you probably would have made, anyway.

  3. I think it is only natural to be a little gun shy after a bad working experience & I think you're right - there is nothing wrong with getting advice as long as the decision you make is still your own.

  4. I often gather the thoughts of trusted friends and family members when making big decisions. Sometimes when we can't see the trees for the forest, those people will point out what needs to be cut down. haha. I like how you emphasize that the decision is ultimately our own though.